Sunday, October 15, 2006

Slipping back to dependent mode

Now that my darling husband has passed his last exam, *does a little dance of joy*, I'm feeling myself slipping back to a sort of dependent mode. Again I begin to expect him to be the one who gets us out of here when he finds a job. In June, after my semester of administration training at vocational school, I was all pepped to find work and be on my way and provide a new home for us once my darling would finish and follow. Now it's more dependent of where he can find work again. Sure, I can still go and do my own thing if I get a job, but his work will be a big priority since he's significantly more limited (and also significantly more likely to get a good and well paying job) than I am when searching for a suitable position. And no, I don't particularly want us to live in different cities, I feel we've covered that bit already in our relationship.

I'm not sure I like this. Not only is my ego taking another hit (see this post for some reference), but I'm also fearing I'll end up the "domestic matron" (PLH checking back in perhaps) with no career of my own. Not very PC or equal, something I've always thought myself to be, for better or worse...

Not much point in ruminating right now though, our main priority is after all to find work, preferably for both of us, but at least enough to get us out of here. I'm going slightly mad... to quote the forever fabulous group Queen.

*grins*

keah

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1 Comments:

At Sun Oct 15, 04:40:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aww, sweetie.

I think it's only natural for you to want the two of you to get jobs in the same place (geographicly, not same company). His education is for a position that isn't widely available, like you pointed out youreslf, and since you haven't gotten a job yet I think it's only natural that you're taking the back seat a little and see where his search takes you.

Even though the PLH isn't very PC it can be equal. Taking care of the home is an important role, and even though I know it can be done by sharing chores when both people are working, there's nothing wrong with choosing to be the PLH for a few months or years. As long as it's your choise to do so instead of just slipping into that role because you don't think there's anything else out there for you.

You know I'm rooting for the two of you to find jobs. *hugs*

 

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